Hansel and Gretel Movie
Hansel and Gretel Movie The premise is that Hansel and Gretel, having evaded a horrible fate as children. Whereas, in the witch’s candy cottage in the forest. They are now, all grown up and have become super-cool kick-ass witch hunters– in a oddly regressive (Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters) sibling partnership– wandering the distinctly Germanic countryside. Therefore, armed with steampunky shotguns for the purpose of blasting witches with full intensity.
Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton play them with very little discernible talent. Peter Stormare calls as some kind of tyrannical mayor in a bad-guy performance, and Famke Janssen plays an evil witch. Which in turns, whose face often turns into that of a hyper-real crone, a virtual effect that succeeds in being uninteresting and at the same time depressing.
Well, I’m clutching here with theoretical straws. Perhaps it’s always been like this. Hansel & Gretel is essentially a movie that doesn’t ignore the risk of being abysmal. Gemma Arterton– who can be very good in the right part– has to play Gretel with a fantastically irritating, telephoney, swaggering American accent, matching Jeremy Renner’s. Which disconcerting since everyone else has a kind of middle-European peasant voice, because they live somewhere called Augsburg.
She is another person who has (Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters) this sadistic infatuation with violence, smirking at one of her victims that “it’s not going to be an open casket.”
The most odd thing about this movie is how it thinks it has to offer both leads to some sort of romantic interest. Which somehow, to nullify the gross, incestuous feeling.
Hansel gets to go swimming naked with a comely white witch, but all that Gretel gets is a strange and platonic “beauty-and- the-beast” relationship with an hideous giant called Edward with an huge, misfigured chest. Why? It is not shaping the story in any interesting way.